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Jayren’s Journal: Rian’s B-day (and Ophi too)

Updated: Jul 6, 2020


Listen, usually the good ideas come from me.

This was an exception, alright? Corvun had a great idea.

I was minding my own business, playing some shitty pay-to-win game on my phone. (I don’t even know why I bother. I think I want to try to win without spending a dime, just to break the damn rig in the game. I miss my gaming systems sometimes.) So, Corvun comes in and he’s like, “hey, Rian’s birthday is coming up. Got any ideas?” And I said—HAH just kidding. He had already done some research and found a bar downtown that he thought he could flash some cash at and reserve for the night. I did ask him if Ophi was going. You know, twins and all. He said he hadn’t talked to her.

I called her. It went kind of like this:


Hey. (It was like, midnight probably, and I probably woke her up. She sounds so hot when she’s sleepy.)

What are you doing this weekend?

Are you asking me on a date?

If I was, would you say yes?

No. (She always says no. I don’t know why, because I can’t tell you how many times we’ve hooked up now.)

We’re throwing a surprise birthday party for you and Rian.

She pointed out it wasn’t a surprise for her anymore, and I said I was sorry. I told her where and when and asked if she’d be there, and she said she would. That, yeah THAT about made my guts tie a fucking noose around my neck to choke the air right out of me. I don’t know why I still get nervous around her, but it might be because of Rian. I tell him we’re a thing, but he doesn’t believe me. Kinda scared shitless what’ll happen when he does find out that I’m telling the truth.

Don’t get me wrong, I always dress to impress, but that night I REALLY dressed to impress. Holy fuck, I looked good too. We got there, and she wasn’t there. Not right away, anyway. I couldn’t sit still. Corvun doesn’t let me drink on my own, so it told me the bar was strictly off-limits till we made a toast. (Stupid, if you ask me. But there was this one time I got so wasted that I crashed my bike and had a hangover so bad that the broken leg was nothing compared to the headache. Just saying. That’s why. Why I don’t drink, and why Corvun makes the rules I mean.)

I hung out by the food while I waited for her to get there. They had pineapple pizza (Rianlikes it), mac and cheese (god, I wish I weren’t vegan), and spicy food. I swore off spicy food after me and Vena had this contest. We went thai-restaurant hopping and she one-upped me on the spice level, so I told the waiter I’d have what she was having, so she upped it again. I swear to god she wants to see me burn in hell. I puked all over her boots, and that was the last time I’ll ever have spicy food. Back to the party. Just as soon as I’d stuck a chip in my mouth, Ophi walked in and god, I about died. She always looks like a fucking queen, but she was wearing this skin-tight snake skin dress. Hah. Yeah. Bet she did THAT one on purpose.

I didn’t have the balls to say hi.

I actually tried to cop out of everything when she cornered me at the bar.

I told her happy birthday, and my voice just decided to quit working. Right up and left, right then. Guess it wanted a damn vacation, ffs. I fucking hate myself sometimes.

She ordered us drinks.

I said that was really not a good idea.

She said she needed the night to end better than the week had.

I said I’d drink to that.

Corvun about gave me the time of day when he found out I’d had drinks before we toasted to Rian. I made up for it by winging a hella awesome speech for Rian. I mean, it killed. It was that good. Too bad I was too drunk to remember what I said. (I hope someone took notes or something.)

Well when the night ended I DID have the balls to invite Ophi back to our dorm for the night. Rian backed me up and said she should come hang, so it wasn’t half as awkward. Always better when the brother approves, ey?

We all had a round of shots when we got back to our place. I crashed on the couch. Ophi crashed on my chest. That was one hell of a way to end a night. Rian suspected NOTHING. (Just kidding, he saw us make out, soooo cat’s out of the bag I guess.) He still said it was the best birthday party he’d ever had. Ophi said it was the best birthday party she’d ever had.

I’d drink to that.

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